This Blog contains my private collection of tots, pics and ppl tat revolves ard me which i gamely decided to put on e virtual world for random ppl to see. Blog is a form of expression n not a way to ask fer ppl's judgement. u like wat u see? stay. if u think im plastic, by all means - leave~ Think im a bore? dun read then. bleargh
Her*Last*Freedom
Song: Inertia.Creep
Movie: HIde.n.Seek
Cravin fer: Foods from CedeleBakery
Came back from: CoffeeBean Wheelocks,Orchard.
Her*Desires
Lose weight.
Download more chilloutz songs.
FInish up w projects.
Replace Visa Mini card.
Shoppin trip.
Monthly dosage of chilloutz session w Yanti.
Clubbin w my girls.
A*Must*in*Her*Shoppin*Bags
Retro/vintage tshirts.
MicroMiniSkirt
Mp3player.
Accessories.
TopshopBoxers.
HavaianasSlippers.
Chilloutshirt/tops.
OffShouldertop.
newdigicam.
iBookstuffs.
Whitepointedsandals.
Capripants.
Chilloutz*Buddies
mYRoMeO.
sizZyHaS.
BrOiJaL.
NauRa.
WinN.
HaiKeL.
FadiLa.
MyChanDLeR.
hAnsTYLaZ.
sWeEtnuR.
henSeMbOYmAy.
hYd.
JuLiana.(newlink)
AlzRin.
anDiKa.
LinacuTiE(new!).
ZanNaPeaFaiRY.(new!)
HaNRawKstaR.
DarYL.
dHaRmA.
FiZa.
FaRhanaSheEpY.
nanYSheEpY.
NabiLa.
SiZaiShaH.
nuRBeaChyLiciouS.
CaPriaZLy.
NaMiRa.
YunuS.
Freedom*of*Speech
Captured*
Laidback*Muzique
Artist: Massive Attack
Song: Teardrop
Credits*
xDiorAngelx
Blogger
Blogskins
Dear Blog,
juz tot i shld put tis pics up..
it surely brings back beautiful memories to me.. :)
~~a compilation of da earlier pics we took..durin e time both of us gettin to know each other n none have a digi..heh~~
~~wearin kebaya on a saturday to Orchard surely created sum buzz.. but we sure nvr felt more prettier n sexier ever b4..:D
till then,
she's reminiscin..~
Dear Blog,
It juz ironic sumtimes how u learn,find out things from ppl thru their blogs..
is blog bcome e only place fer u to let everythin out? while u choose to keep quiet in real life?
fer once, i chose to keep quiet in my blog
dun wish to try to clear my names or watsoever
juz one thing to highlight though,
how can u b there fer sum1 wen u have NO ABSOLUTE freakin idea on wat e person goin thru coz all u ever find out is thru e person's blog?
no calls,no msgs no nothin..
to put it simply, i was shunned away..yet i was in e wrong?
:)
nuff said..
oh yea Fyi,
thanks fer bein there ya? i reli appreciate it.. ur one of da few ppl who nvr seems to see me in a diff light..ever~ i love you *hugs*
[she added: i Kol Sabbie juz now.. i realized tat its not worth it to throw a close to yr long frenship tat felt tat it have been goin on since birth juz bcoz of a misunderstandin..n i dun even wan us to know abt each other's lives thru our blogs tat we have to have arguments thru it!..so yea, i hope she understand n felt likewise abt my intention..]
Sizzy,
i know uve been thru alot.. i dunno wat but i sure do know wat izzit like to go thru e hurt,anguish n confusion all by urself..
u wish sum1 is there though but u dunno how to put across e msgs tat uve been suppressin..maybe tats where e prob lies w us..
u juz dunno how to tell me things..
but one thing fer sure, ive nvr stop carin fer u..ur my sis n u will always b one..
always remember "2 bodies,one soul.."
i love you siz, i do..~
and i love you too Has.. :)
till then,
she's not whole w/o her family n frens :)~
Dear Blog,
gOsh im fuckin tired..n wen i say fuckin tired tat means, im reli reli reli exhausted as fatigue already crept inside of me..
make sense? heh watever lah aDa..~
so yea.. went to Sentosa juz now..almost didnt make it coz i was reli sleepy but Kor kor already kol me @ 830am then Joanne n Wei Ming..dun wish to dissapoint them so i went ..
so yea..we juz chill out @ Siloso, took sum pics..looked @ ppl play beach volleyball n me n Jo went fer a swim..it was a perfect one
i like it tis way.. its juz me n my frens.. :)
then Haritz kol ! heh.. we tok fer awhile..its nice to hear from him again *gRins like one cheshire kitten*
we left ard 630pm.. after which we boarded e bus to catch another bus back to da city wen...sumthin..eh no! sum1 caught both me n Yanti's attention..
tis Orlando Bloom Lookalike..damn hes so fine! noticed his bods at Siloso but didnt notice his face but boy he looks soooo fine..i mean, damn fine!
u know me n my 6 packs fetish rite? :D
n e fact hes sooo cool .. he noticed we were lookin at him but instead flirtin w us, he juz looked ahead n smiled.. but he served as an eyecandy to me only... ;)
i was abt to end tis entry wen..sumthin happened..
let da transcript do da talkin :-
Sabbie: its nt jzu tt. put urself in my shoes n think. feel. if u cnt then maybe u shldn call me sis animore.
wells i need to slp. work tmr. unlike u, ive to earn to gt wt i want.
nites.
i dunno wat to say or rather, i dun think any amount of explanation would change anythin..
its ok if ppl think otherwise abt me but not ppl who r e closest to me..
but e thing tat hurt me most was "unlike u, ive to earn to gt wt i wan"
so tats wat i am in ur eyes eh?
syukria , i reli appreciate it..
i wonder how many times they hurt me w their words? e ans? uncountable
if e tables were to turn ard n it was me in e hot seat, i would at least hear her side of story, things might not b wat it seems it is..
i nvr consider myself as an angel,
but at least i have my dignity n principle
i didnt do anythin tat made e statement above bcome stail
e ppl who were there can vouch fer it..
tats all im sayin~
i tot friends supposed to care,understand n nvr think negatively of one another?
i guess..i was wrong~
kol me wen u remember who i reli am~
till then,
she's forever misunderstood~
Dear Blog,
Time check : 345am..
heh~ i juz got back liao.. so so so so freakin tired
but i had fun w my team mates juz now!
went dinner @ Swensen, followed by a movie @ Lido (my darlin kor kor paid fer da tix! lup u kor..) and then.. Devils Bar! hehehe
it was Yanti first time there so she was goin reli wild juz now! heh
can u blieve tat both of us were dancin @ e bartop fer 3 hrs straight .. yea, it was tat crazy..
wish i cld blog more but my eyes can barely open..worse still, im meetin them again in few hrs time to Sentosa..tis time hittin da beach! gosh! they reli out to kill me leh
aite.. time fer bed now..
i try to blog wen i wake up (if i got extra time tat is)
n yea..pics pics pics :D
[she added: i miss him..so so so so so so so much~ if only u could touch me n kiss me forehead now..n trust me, i would live fer tat moment my whole life..tats how much u mean to me..i love you B~]
till then,
she bcame bartop dancer last nite~
Dear Blog,
after the American voted, Fantasia Burino was crowned e ultimate winner! wooohoo~
heh..im very much satisfied w e outcome..i know she gonna win e moment shes in da final 12.. congratz Fantasia, dreams indeed can come true..
tokin abt dreams..
i pondered upon e dreams tat ive made da past yrs but i couldnt seems to count how many of it tat come true..
wanna know y? simply bcoz there was none..
ya ya ya i know i sound wee bit pathetic now but over da yrs, ive seen so many dreams of mine bein shattered n scattered ard juz like tat..
ive been thru shitza..been down n out but hey im still alive
sumtimes all tis stuffs happened fer a reason, its to help u to grow as a person
i know i did..hell yea i did
i used to complain n cry everytime things doesnt go my way
but now..i learnt to keep things under control by not thinkin abt it
takin it easy n always have faith in Him to go thru tis journey u called "life"
so now, i decided not to have dreams anymore instead i live my life day by day, make my present worthwhile n hope sumhow it will give me a fufillin future
i dun wish to b at e stage seein my dreams shattered again, e pain n agony is not worth it ...
i dun wan to keep pickin up pieces over n over again..no way~
geez..i bcame so melodramatic now.. heh~
i guess tis is wat u do wen u cant sleep at nite eh?
aite i think i shld go n count sheeps now..
gonna meet up w my teamates later in e evenin..cant wait!
oh yea finally .. Devils bar :)
till then,
shes's bein melo now..
Dear Blog,
im havin a flu now..heh~
temp check : 38.6 ... im indeed sick~ oh well..
so anyways i had fun last nite! went out w Abg Andika n got to know each other better, hes a fun dude to chillout w..was laughin n laughin all thruout.. hes goin to Penang fer 5 days w da other "stoinkers" so bon voyage n enjoy takin tons of pics there ya? (hes as vain as me! :d)
next, i met up w Iman n juz spent time together @ Palawan.. he juz broke off w his gf u see so im tryin to b there fer him..we didnt tok much coz i dun wan to say things tat may not come out rite so yea, i hope u feel much better now dear.. :)
at e other side of e world,
Haritz is goin..away~
he kol me last nite to tell me tat he asked fer a transfer to work overseas..
i wish he would stay but who am i to ask him tat?
...........
i guess certain things r indeed better left unsaid~
i better stop here i guess
till then,
she's sick~
Dear Blog,
im so tired n sleepy!! arrghh!! hehehee wat only aDa..
i cant view blogs yday, wonder y.. hmmm~
so anyways, i finally went to da LOTR exhibition ! weeee~ :D
thanks to Reza fer bringin me there..thank u ;)
i managed to take only 2 pics inside da exhibition (its a hush hush!)
~~i think tis is e ring tat they used durin filmin, its bein put inside a tube n e wordings were bein splashed all over e dark room..nice rite? heheheh~~
u shld see it fer urself..got sum reli kewl stuff inside
so LOTR freakos mickos, go n check it out asap!!
n dun forget to visit da stores too..got freakin nice stuff there! i fell in lup w da Arwen, Evenstar necklace..but it cost a bloody $140!! arrgghhh any1 wanna buy fer me as an advanced bday gift? puhhhlease!! :D
kk nuff of my crappiness..~
ah shit! i got to get dressed now! meetin Abg Andika @ Chinatown fer his interview b4 meetin Iman later in e late afternoon..
will blog later~
till then,
She's rushin !!
Dear Blog,
Are men reli tat unappreciative?
do they usually ignore u wen ur bein too concern abt his wellbein?
im watchin tis chinese drama n e way e guy treats his wife despite her bein so nice n showin concern to him juz erks me..fuck him lah! seriously! grrrr~
im not tryin to bitch or wat lah but it juz hurt wen ur concern sumhow bein ignored juz like tat..
i received few rather disturbin msgs from him in e wee hrs last nite n it got me reli worried, i tried to help, tried to b there yet he juz shunned me off totally~
he even claimed no one is there fer him n hes all alone..
then wat e hell im there fer? an invisible statue??
but wat hurts me most was wen he...doubt me..
he actually tot i got someone else! n tat sum1 else (God knows who)needs me more than he does!!
y? am i not bein true n sincere enuff? juz wat u reli wan from me?
i know wen a person is under tremendous pressure, he would feel reli lonely and distant but tat doesnt mean he can juz doubt me like tat..
i love him selflessly,
unconditionally,
i nvr even expect anythin in return
yet u think i got sum hidden agenda?
........
nvm lah..
i still will pray hard fer ur safety,hepiness n hope u will get thru tis ordeal sumhow
dun bother to feel appreciate over wat ive done
fer i nvr except any from u..
till then,
she's too softhearted..~
Dear Blog,
Juz got back from a movie date w Noorman, da hot SIA guy remember?
so anyways, it was an impromptu one..i reached home @ 7pm, he msged me..we flirted a lil .. errr maybe alot..ah watever n he told me he would pick me up in 30mins time (didnt know tat our plc is freakin near!) n @ 805pm, we were in his car.. (merc!!) n off we went to Lido to watch Laws of Attraction..
i must say..its a great movie, kinda cheesy plot but..it did put a big smile on my face :D
afterwards he sent me home..was expectin more though! no no dun side track eh? ;) but hes flyin off to Melbourne @ 10am..so yea..oh wells~
but hey! its nice to see him again, i was hopin he would ask me out again n he did! weeeee~ ahahahah wat only aDa... ;)
back to da movie..
one of da dialog kinda i dunno how to put it into words, umm stand out? yeapz
"70% of Women who claimed that they are too bz to have relationships are actually... lonely.."
tats y ppl said tat truth is brutal n harsh coz..tats a fact..
women tried to deny tat they dun need men in their lives fer yrs but i blieve tat in every woman lies tis lil space in her heart tat is hollow n wish one man will sumhow fill tat gap n make her whole again..
im sure there r women out there who shares e same sentiment as me..
fer me, i know i NEED it but i CANT have it .. as simple as tat..
im not denyin anythin..tats my reason..n tats..e truth~
wen i was at my grandma house juz now, they were tokin abt me havin bf n marriage.. usual stuff~ but fer once i managed to silent them by tellin them "darlins, its NOT easy infact its almost an impossible task to find a man as gd as my dad .."
they cant argue tat statement w me.. its true, guys nowadays r unlike our fathers.. responsible,trustworthy,faithful..yada yada yada..
its a far cry 2 decades ago.. men r more simple n easily contented..unlike men nowadays.. they r only contented if u can give them a gd "head" n a mind blowin sex..
every1 who r close to me know how my dad luvs me.. i dare to say tat im his greatest love.. n no one can ever love me like he does..no one..even if i were to meet sum1 who claim to luv me whole heartedly, he still will be da..second best :)
so Dad,
thank u fer lovin me..
n even if i were to b remain as a spinster till e end
i wont regret it fer i have one man who loves me my whole life
and dad.. i hardly say tis to u but trust me wen i tell u tat i say it everyday,
i love you too ..
till then,
she luvs her dad..e most~
Dear Blog,
I kinda juz woke up..slept very late last nite.. oh well~
had a fun time yday! went out w sizzy n juz spent time together afterall its been a month plus since we last met..
sizzy was so engrossed w my digi tat she took tons n tons of pics! heh~ we r like tourist snappin pics everywhere.. its juz fun lah
sumhow digi brings us closer coz we always have a gd laugh wen we take pics ;)
i bought sum stuff..again! so im officially broke now heh :D
simply cant get enuff of accessories..luckily its gonna b end of e month, tats mean i gotta stay at home tis few days eh? bummerz~
oh yea Man U won FA Cup!! ahahah although it felt like a one sided game n pose no challenge to them, im still hepi tat they ended up w a silverware..
hopefully they wont make e same blunder again next season, im gonna cry if tat happens!
Alan Smith goin to Man U! wooohooo~ hes one of da notorious boy in EPL, i loooike ;)
arrghhh mom juz walked into my room n asked med to get ready, we r goin to grandma house..
guess i cant blog fer now..
will blog later ya?
oh yea.. e pics r up!
sizzy, there r sum of ur pics tat i didnt upload to fotopage, get it from me later ya?
thanks fer da time!
till then,
She's gonna get ready~
Dear Blog,
hello! heh~ tot of droppin by fer awhile..im bored,sweaty n hot!
juz did 100 of pushups n crunches each..tot of doin another 100 bt doubt i got time..
meetin my larlin sizzy Has today! wooohooo~
miss her lah.. heh~
i think we juz gonna chill @ starbucks while havin our radar fer cute guys on all time..
eh, its been so long since i do my pplwatchin.. :D
might b goin out early to check on Jo n Yan @ McCafe..
will blog later!
p/s: Jon, i know not ALL men cant b trusted.. i trust my Daddy! hes da best! hands down :P
not forgettin u,my Fyi n Shah.. u 3 buggers rock ma world .. luv u Johnny.. u lup me too rite? heheh
till then,
She's gonna have her shower..~
Dear Blog,
sumtimes i dunno whether to laugh or to cry lookin at my life..
how its bein filled w full of drama moments, be it gd or bad n not forgettin e twists n unexpected scenarios tat come w it..
oh well~
i received a kol early in e mornin from him..was asleep so i didnt pick it up
i kol him back though an hr later coz i was hopin to find sum ans to da facts i found out last nite but he didnt pick it up..
i totally forgotten abt e call wen i received one from him much later in da early afternoon..
we tok..fer da first time in 2 wks..
he was pourin all his troubles to me, every single of it..
i was taken aback coz all e issues hes facin definitely not fer da faint hearted..
so i pretty much b da listenin ears..offered my advices n opinions every now n then
we also tok abt how close we were to meet each other n we had a gd laugh abt it..
he told me he would fer sure kol me tis time if he were 2 meet w an accident there! ahahah very funny ..
basically it feels like last time though now im more cautious as not to get carried away..afterall, he might or might not b attached..
i didnt question him abt tat gerl coz i feel:
1. i dun have e rite to do so
2. its his life
3. i dun wish to assume things
4. he got enuff probs already
5. im juz a friend to him so wats e fuckin prob?
agree?
nuff abt tat..
oh ya got one juicy story to share w u!
sum1 sponsored me subcription to AM n guess who izzit? its my freakin ex, Am!
yes e same guy whom i cut all ties w 4 yrs ago
itz juz weird to find hes da bugger..
i dunno whether i shld b thankful or wat?
so yea, spent 2 hrs oso to clear more than 200 sns n stuff..
but im bz clickin on "ignored" instead..heh
im not gonna check as often as last time, couldnt b bothered lah..
one more month n tats it lah eh?
aite..im gonna train abit then have shower
meetin my cuzzie to go to my grandma house later
miss my nani bohot bohot!
[she added: sori sori..forgot abt e pics! click on me pic below w da ever so gorgeous Yatz k?]
till then,
she's juz chillin..fer now~
Dear Blog,
he got a fuckin gf but yet he still continues to msg me n even wanted to see me tat day
i was such a fool thinkin tat it was juz my imagination..
tis is juz infuriatin..
is tis wat happenin to tis world now?
men reli cant b trusted?
men reli born a bastard?
n nothin else?
i dun even know wat else to say
im so shocked..too shocked..
thanks fer everythin Haritz..
u juz proved to me tat ur e same as Dylan..
thank u
till then,
she's numbed~
Dear Blog,
theres so many drama today! heh
got an sms from Mama askin me to come over while Joanne callin me askin me where i am early in e mornin simply bcoz they all wans to take pics!
so there i was makin my way to meet them n take sum memorable pics..
most r in Joanne's digi so will upload asap ya?
afterwards Jo was like askin all da girls to go devils bar today..we were all excited n roarin to go but soon after one by one started to cancel it citin e most common reason as : "i need to meet my bf" "my bf wont let me go clubbin.." yada yada yada
klah, as form of respect..i wont comment on tat
but bein a swingin bachelorette, i cant help but to feel pissed abt e whole thing.. dun make it sound as if u got no life after r/s..it doesnt work tat way..
r/s still give u freedom! i juz dun understand y sum "attached" girls dun see it tat way..
one word : watever..
everythin was cancelled though they said they wan to go next month.. if it happen, it happens lah eh?
luckily Yatz asked if im free n asked me to accompany her to buy sum stuff fer her baby luv..so met her ard 4pm n off we went to town..
we used to go out together but on a double date wen she wans to hook me up w her bf's bestfren but it nvr happened coz i was bein sceptical n stuff ;)
back to da story, she bought her stuff n i ended up bought mine as well..heh!
no no..not fer any1 but fer meself..sunglasses,jeans..im so broke :/
its juz nice hangin out w her..shes one of da buddy whom i feel so easy to tok to n laugh w.. thanks darls fer da time..
ya! how can i forget, wen i was on my way home..got tis 2 minahs n a mat boarded e train n tis mat were singin to his heart content n it was filled w full of enthusiasm tat me n Yatz cant contain our laughters..n e fact it sounded sooo awful!
imagined from Orchard to Bishan! him singin song after song..yes its tat BAD!
lolx! i had a gd laugh though.. u can be our singapore very own William Hung! w ur blonde hair n ur supa tite "obiang" shirt n tappered pants..gosh..ahahaha
Mats n minahs..nvr failed to amaze me w their stupidity :)
well bsides tat, nothin much happened though..
but i do have few shoutout to da frens who means e world to me,
Jon darlin,
im sorry that i didnt tok to u last nite..i was very tired n i dunno how to console u
let juz say tat i still dun wan to blieve tat all tat is happenin to u
im afraid things will get worse fer u..
but pls Jon baby, fer ur family, ur frens,ur loved ones n me.. fight e battle..
it might not b as bad as u tot it to be..
i will always b here fer u.. u know tat rite?
b strong ya? i love you.. u know i do *hugs*
Sizzy Has,
things doesnt always go ur way so dun b sadden by his actions.. God always have his ways w things tat we nvr b able to comprehend .. so have faith in urself,b strong n dun hope fer hopin might only brin u dissapointment instead work urself thru .. if u think hes e one then b patient..if u dun think u can fight e battle then leave it..if he meant to b urs, he will..
i love you siz..i always do..*hugs*
it seems every1 havin a hard time..
oh well..
till then,
She juz wans to go to sleep n wake up to a brand new day..~
Dear Blog,
i woke up early today..still cant seems to accept e fact tat we were so close to meetin yday..
somehow tat was..definitely one of da biggest regret of da yr..
i mean, wat is da probability of him meetin w an accident ard my area again? 0/1000?
i tot i put a closure to it.. i tot i did..
but i was not strong enuff,
not strong enuff to open a new chapter in life..
i guess..theres still tis awkward attraction,almost hazardous btw us..
its seeminly bitter coz its uncalled fer..
we belong to 2 diff worlds, him walkin at e other side of e road
while im here waitin n hopin i could take a glimpse of him amidst da crowd
it was juz not meant to be..
im fully aware of tat yet i juz cant seems to take tat in my stride..
i juz cant..
i juz cant..
n its so difficult coz i kept tryin to put tat facts inside my head, tryin to b nochalant abt it, tryin to pretend tat "hey im ok, im kewl abt e whole thing..
well i am but..wen e nite falls,
and im all alone,
i cant help but to have tis lil desire inside of me burnin..burnin fer him
dun u find it weird,peculiar bloggie?
a girl like me have tis secret crush tat isnt reli a secret anymore
yet e guy tat she adores seems to b toyin w her feelings?
infact i think im capable to have sum1 if i wan to but y did i kept choosin to indulge in an almost impossible love affair?
i wish i have e answer..
i wish i can obtain an understandin to tat question..
i admitted openly tat i like him,
i adore him,
but i wan to b away from him
fer i have tis fear..
fear of not wantin to get close to any1 emotionally..
not with him nor w any other..
tis is one of e rarest time tat i pluck up my courage to give u an insight on my inner tots..
my lid box is already over flowin..i need to get a new one! :)
suddenly i tot of a song..
a perfect song to express my suppressed emotion..
tis is e song..
e song tat i dedicated especially to da one
as much as i hate to admit..
e one who resides in my heart,
thus i speak e name of a beautiful being,
e one who captured my heart n soon to b takin control over my soul,my hollow soul~
"Haritz Adam Abdullah.."
e song is fer u..
BB Mak
Ghost of You and Me
What am I supposed to do with all these blues
Haunting me everywhere
No matter what i do
Watching the candle flicker out
In the evening glow
I can't let go, when will that night be over
Chorus:
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
Well one of them is mine
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me
(chorus repeated)
Bridge
The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over..
till then,
she still adores him..~
Dear Blog,
im speechless,confused,dumbfounded..still tryin to comprehend wat had happened juz now..
still tryin to figure out y it didnt happen?
y? y? y?
i was on my way out.. was listenin to class 95..they r known to play soapy songs.. i was close to tears coz sumhow my mind got side track to.. "him"
suddenly theres a msg..
opened it n.. it was him..it was him blog..askin me "where are you?"
i reli didnt think anythin of it..i tot he must have sent e wrong msg.. i tot hes meetin sum1..another gerl..
w a sinkin heart, i msged back sayin he msged e wrong person..then he said it was meant fer me..so i told him where i am then he told nvm then..its ok
i was puzzled by his sudden msg, im sure any1 would feel e same way too.. then he told me..he had a minor accident in front of Admiralty MRT station, been sittin down there n was hopin he could see me..
He wans to see me..
he finally wans to see me..
but fate was cruel..cruel enuff not to make it happen..
i was 15mins away from him wen he was there, i walked past by him yet i couldnt see him.. i didnt even notice him..
is tis a sign from above? tellin me tat it was reli not meant to be?
or God was tryin to save me coz he knows if i see him i would b back to e same spot.. b put in a rollercoaster ride n had my heart broken again?
i wanted to take a cab home hopin i would still b able to catch a glimpse of him but he left.. he left..
i dun even know how to describe how i feel..
im juz wonderin y it had to happen?
y must he msged me?
y must he tell me he was there?
im movin on slowly..
pickin up da pieces all over again..i dun wish to lose it..
i juz feel like e biggest fool now..
nuff said~
till then,
she's ........~
Dear Blog,
hey ya! heh..
had my trainin today n i must say im lovin each n every moment of it.. :D
Ran 10 rounds today + da 200pushups n yada yada yada
was supposed to run only fer 8 rounds but my darlin "psycho" kor kor made me run 2 more rounds..im her mei mei mah..must give face hehehe..
oh well~
Yatz didnt come coz she had a fractured toe due to last fri's trainin..it seems tat da girls r sooo fragile! luckily no 1 is injured today..if not Papa (me coach,Mr Raymond) sure gonna faint one !
trainin will b stop fer 2 wks n will b resumin on 2nd june..but i still got to train!
w my Kor kor .. he was like tellin me over n over again tat i got to follow him trainin at wdls .. so mean :(
oh yea, Yan is back w us!! weee so hepi..
she came to da trainin to give us moral support..so sweet! we also plan a big bash fer her tis comin 28 may .. to celebrate her 18th bday..
Papa wans to go "Clublin" heheheh we were makin fun of him all e way juz now..he cant seems to pronounce e word "clubbin" properly.. :P
but then june race is comin so we figured we shld juz have a dinner movie outin tis time round n go clubbin after da june race! cant wait!! :D :D
Zouk? China Black? Devils Bar? Dbl O? Angel? but pls ah .. no KTV ok?
im sure e guys will have everythin plan out fer us ;)
p/s: dun wori Jon baby..if i go Zouk or Chinablack, i will surely inform u!
basically, i got my activities linin up fer June already.. Kor was tellin me tat we might juz have a 1 wk "torture" camp though its still pendin..plus da intensive trainin n outings we gonna have..
so ppl, book me asap ya? lolx!!
did i mention tat im gonna get tan anytime soon? tats wat i fear most..reli!
after i found out tat next trainin will b in e mornin, i quickly sms mom n asked her to get me lotion n stuff..
i know its weird tat i hate tannin but i prefer to be fair..
tannin looks gd on sum ppl but it certainly doesnt looks gd on me!
malays n chinese looks orite w tanned skin but certainly not Mixed lerkhi like me.. na uh~!
one word to sum it all - vainpot! heh
aite..eyes gettin heavier..gonna apply da lotion,toner,moisturiser n watever i can find in my room now on me face n body..
till then,
she's still as vain as ever~
Dear Blog,
Im watchin Central now..got Live @ e Rehearsal Hall, Preservation Hall Jazz Band..
i must say im blown away by their music..
i have always been a big fan of Jazz but its kinda hard to see their performances on TV.. so today happened to b my lucky day i guess? heh..
Jazz..soothin music,calms my soul..wat more could i ask fer on a sun nite ;)
oh yea, i watched Troy juz now w Naz @ Marina..
great movie! certainly worth ur money coz its like 3 hrs long n e fact tat Brad Pitt is farkin hot!! i mean hubba hubba! hehehe..i was drooooolin away~
did i mention tat hes naked in tat movie? not once but thrice!! ahahah but relax ladies.. juz managed to see his back.. ya e whole back ;)
but his bod..gosh..i can juz die in his arms...oh my lord..my achilles.. *smiles dreamily*
Jennifer Aniston is such a lucky lady.. lolx!
~~tats wat im tokin abt peepz..hes HOTTA!!~~
n kiddos..dun wori, its rated PG-War Violence so every1 can watch it! :D
Naz wanted to have dinner after da movie but im not hungry so we headed home instead
so tats pretty much how i spent my sun..
Naz is a great guy, one of da guy tat i consider myself datin non-exclusively.. we had our fun, pure fun..n one thing i enjoy wen goin out w him, its totally platonic!
he nvr pressure me nor tok abt lovey dovey stuff..so theres no string attached at all
i dun have to question him n vice versa..infact we nvr tok abt it at all ;)
i still wan to blog but suddenly brain got freeze..
actually im upset over certain stuff but i figured its better to either juz leave or try to forget abt it..
so yea leave u w a pic of me taken juz now..
Till then,
She's tired~
Dear Blog,
i woke up early today! heh~
Parents left fer JB ard 9am i think..im sure they r hepi tat im not taggin along though mom did woke me up n asked me if i wan to go or not?
but im sure they more willin goin w/o me.. y? coz they cant shop in peace wen im ard! theres always sumthin tat i would comment or complain abt..heh!
oh well..
but mom was bein sweet..she bought breakfast fer me so yea i had my first ever breakfast @ home today..
might b goin out later afterall..figured theres nothin to do at home n u know me.. imagination will run wild wen i got nothin to do.. sheesh!
wat else?
oh yea, received an sms from an acquantaince tellin me he got a crush on me.. i was like err ok thank you..
wat u expect me to say?
so wat if u like me? u dun even know me well enuff to like me fer who i am n not fer wat u see me on e exterior..
he juz proved my statement rite.. love = superficial.. :)
oh yea, e pics r up! :D
u know e drill, click on da pics to see 2 diff fotopage ya?
~~btw, tats my darlin Kor Kor, Edwin.. :D~~
aite..im outta here fer now..
gonna do my 200 pushups n situps..
till then,
she's seekin solace in her own lil world~
Dear Blog,
kinda juz got back from town..had fun w da girls juz now.. thanks ya fer da company
we juz chilled @ McCafe, Shaw Atrium..tats like a first..
its quite orite n cheap too..heh~
but i still prefer coffeebeans,starbucks n of coz lips cafe.. :)
nothin much happened..we juz chill n then Jo wanted to chill out @ Devils Bar (she got da membership card hence can sign us in free :D) so we pop by there fer awhile..
was enjoyin da music wen Shida wans to go home..ah bummers..
decided to go there again next fri after trainin..
must bring Kor n da rest of da guys to party!! :D
oh yea, how can i forget, Fiza..my childhood fren kol me juz now n asked if i wan to come along fer da Black Eyed Peas Concert n IIFA awards next wk!!!
wooohoooo im like hell yea i wan!
isnt it great? 2 great shows back to back..ahahahah cant wait ;)
still not confirm yet but will update u ya?
tis is excitin! *gRins like one cheshire cat*
dunno if i shld go out tomorrow..
parents goin JB so i will b stranded here..
Nadzry asked me out to watch Troy w him..still decidin whether to go or not..
suddenly i juz dun feel like socialisin..w men tat is..
i kinda dread even tokin on e fone..
juz wan to b left alone most of e time..
was bored so i read few ppl blogs..its juz ironic tat one is soooo in luv while another is soo out of luv.. its almost traumatic readin their entries..
all i could sum up is tat.. love = superficial..
if u look at it closely, its nice to love n b loved.. bt wen he hurts u, heartbreaks,dissapoinment n despondency starts to sink in..
its almost as if love ctrl U..
ur life,ur tots,ur soul,urself
basically,everythin..
as if u got no say..
ur helpless n hopeless
how it can put a big smile on ur face now,
only to bring tears to ur eyes at e very next day..
even if u manage to find e one,
fer how long it gonna last?
1 yr? 2 yr?
after tat break up,followed by e healin process b4 ur out n abt lookin fer it all over again?
im tired bloggie
its almost impossible to find love tat is not superficial
impossible..
i laughed wen couples said to one another "i love you forever"
its like a big joke to me..
there is no such thing as "forever", tats wat i learnt thru da yrs..
then again..its juz my 2 cents worth of eccentric sat nite tots..
im not sayin i would nvr find love again,
tats lame !
coz wen e cupid hits u.. u juz cant help it but to succumb to da temptation
though i wish next time round i would b given a choice
a choice to choose to accept e arrow or not..
n i prolly choose to give away e arrow to sum1 who truly deserve it
coz frankly speakin, i rather live an excitin life than a life filled w luv but will b constantly in fear not knowin wen e love gonna fade away...
on e consolation, i still got my family n frens' love! :D
till then,
she's prefer to b on her own~
Dear Blog,
e movie n celebration fer Yan's discharged had been cancelled..bummerz~
n da guys got werk n stuff..double bummers!!
so left me, Joanne n Shidah to chill out @ town..
wat a borin saturday!
oh well..
juz tot of givin u a shoutout n complain tis to u.. heh ;)
aite.. i wan to get dress up..
still decidin btw my mini n top or my MNG red Shirt dress.. hmmmm..
will blog later..
n ya.. pics.. *wink**wink*
till then,
She's off to town~
Dear Blog,
juz got back from trainin..
as always my hands are supa achin now!
went to visit Yan juz now..so hepi tat she got discharged..welcome home Yan!
tomorrow can eat ice cream n watch Troy w me,Joanne,Shida,my Kor kor,William n da rest ya?
weeeee :D
on e other hand..
he actually replied to my bday wish msg ard 10am..tellin me hes at e hospital takin care of his... i tot of poppin b4 my trainin starts..juz bein there fer him as a fren but he nvr replied to my msgs..
kinda dissapointed but watever.. i tried bein nice n bein there, u pushed me away so.. so be it dude ;)
nuff said~
today's trainin is much more fun n tougher!
we row fer like 1 hr n i still cant get my stroke rite! grrrr!! almost give up coz i was soo frustrated but my Kor n da rest of da guys were bein very very patient w me..
Kor (Edwin) even gave me personal coachin tau! hehe
i still need to build up my strength especially my arms.. need to do more pushups.. coz da race is like 4 wks away :/
anyway, thanks ya Kor Kor fer helpin me.. will try not to dissapoint u on da next sea trainin! :)
Dad called after da trainin n he was @ da vicinity..thank god! Yatz injured her legs so hes like our saviour..heh
went to Beach Rd w da girls n my Kor Kor, had dinner there b4 dad fetched us..
After dad sent Yatz n Diana home..we had a convo..a great one to b precise..
my beloved dad r known fer his wise quotes tat nvr failed to make me sit down n ponder..tonite was no exception..
he was tellin me tis "Adawiyah,watever happens..dun ever ever depend on Men..u will get hurt sayang.."
i smiled n looked away sadly..ur rite dad.. ur so rite..~
oh well~
btw, i aint gonna subcribe to AM anymore..my subcription ends tomorrow n i figured its time tat i put a stop to it..
had enuff readin all da comments n compliments everyday only to feel heartbroken at e end of e day..it oh so not worth it..
better indulge myself in sports..keeps me healthy,toned n hopin to b.. sexy!
goin to wdls stadium fer my 2.4 run w my cuzzie tomorrow mornin..
exercise - its another way of releasin stress..heh :P
think i better get sum sleep..
till then,
Lil Miss Sporty signin off~
Dear Blog,
I kinda juz got home..
went to visit Yan @ SGH n bumped into Joanne n Shida so we juz chilled n tok crapz..
then Henny,Rene n Baya came over followed by Mr Raymond,William,Brian,Jack n Edwina
it was fun..we were all laughin n eatin chocs..
thanks peepz fer cheerin me up
especially my Kor, Edwina..hehe..he was makin his stupid jokes n cracked all us up
we headed home ard 830pm after bein chased by da nurses :(
gonna visit her again b4 my trainin..
then, i met Sanjay fer a quick chat over coffee coz hes been tryin to meet me n stuff so yea..
i wasnt reli in my bestest mood but i try to b a gd "date"
he wans to see me again but.. watever~
i mean have u ever been in a situation tat ur body is there but ur mind n heart were elsewhere? n u juz wan to b left alone coz ur a wreck?
well i felt tat way bloggie..but i tried so hard to remain calm..
...........
its exactly 12 now.. i msged him hepi bday..
im so sure im not e only one but i do hope im e first :)
finally a closure..
life is back to normal :)
i dun think i wan to continue bloggin..
will try to upload e pics i took earlier on later ya?
till then,
she needs her sleep..~
Dear Blog,
im upset.. i reli am..very very upset..
i dun even know how to describe wat im feelin now..
i juz wan to hide in my bedroom n juz dun do anythin..
i juz wan to b left alone..
find peace n tranquility within myself..
i need it.. BADLY
till then,
she's hurtin~
Dear Blog,
i actually cried last nite after bloggin to u.. lolx!
n e weirdest thing was.. i cant seems to feel it.. theres tear flowin down but it kinda got frozen..its juz weird..
nuff said..~
niwei hang out w my girls juz now.. we juz cracked jokes n had fun...
they took my mind away off from all e trouble i had last nite..
thanks fer tryin to b there girls..thanks fer da hugs n laughters
i reli appreciate it :)
its juz ironic tat dragonboat made all of us closer n convert me into a sporty girl
im not there yet but soon..soon baybeh!
lolx! life is so interestin sumtimes :)
oh ya ! how could i forget..
Taq been tryin to get me tis past days..he called last nite but i was asleep
then he msged me n told me he dreamt of me
feelin groggy, i msged n asked wat izzit all abt .. he msged back but i was asleep so wen i checked my hp in e mornin..i had e shock of e day!!
he had a wet dream..yea a wet one w me in it! sheesh
so i asked wat exactly happened n he told me he dreamt tat we were makin out..
to put it bluntly, we were havin sex
yes..me n Taq (IN HIS DREAM OF COURSE)were doin it..
kk Siz, stop laughin now ya!!!! :P
i wanted to laugh too but i juz cant..too shocked i think? its juz euuuwwww ..
morale of e story : dun tell sum1 u were dreamin of abt ur wet dreams..its a big no no!!! na-uh~!
come to think of it again, i juz remembered Hanafee, an old fren also msged me all of a sudden e other day tellin me he dreamt of me .. im so glad i nvr ask him wat izzit all abt..but i was wonderin..i have dreamless sleep of e time but how come i appeared on other ppl dreams instead? gosh tis is freaky.. :/
other than tat,
i try NOT to think of it
i try to tell myself not to crumble all over again
i have to
i must..move on n b strong
i cant succumb to da negative side of life..
not ever..ever again~
tis is wat u call Furstinna Adawiyah's life - hollow,confusin,a lil dramatic,sumtimes interestin n excitin w a pinch of sadness,trial n tribulations ..
till then,
she's pickin up herself all over again~
Dear Blog,
i juz got back from shoppin w Shameer..
no no no hes juz a fren ok? i treat him like a bro/buddy coz hes kewl to hang out w n hes much younger than me :)
so yea finally bought my sport shoes.. wanted to get my long awaited La Coq Sportif but they dun have my size..its too big fer me n accordin to them, its e smallest!
i made e poor boy walked w me close to 4hrs only to buy at e first shop we visited.. lol! tats so typical me rite?
so yea ended up gettin adidas workout shoes instead + da shoes bag..
gonna get more sports gear later..lolx i turned into one sporty lady now eh? ;)
other than tat..
nothin much happened or rather keep it to myself..
all i can sum up is tat, i think i finally put a closure to watever tat i tot cld have happen..
sure its hurtin
sure its killin me slowly
sure i feel my heart bein stabbed time n again
but life goes on..
as always, i put it into my over flow lid box n keep it tite shut.. :)
im nvr gonna b e same.. then again, wats new ;)
till then,
She's immuned or..tryin to b one~
Dear Blog,
i cant seems to find enuff reason to tell u how much i adore John Mayer's music..
his songs,lyrics..i can relate myself to it.. its basically wat i wan to say but not knowin how to form a sentence to express it..
stumbled upon tis song..thanks to Shameer fer d/l it fer me..
doubt u guyz can hear e song so..enjoy e lyrics!
p/s: go n d/l e song..its nice!! :D
John Mayer - Love song For No One
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
till then,
She's listenin to Johnny..~
Dear Blog,
i injured me hand! :(
heh..
e sea trainin was tough but fun! reli reli fun :D
now i know y our land trainin is tat bad.. Raymond said we still not tat strong enuff, need to build up our fitness so.... trainin gonna b hell on mon :S
Yani's paddle knocked on me hand twice hence y im nursin an injured hand now :(
i think im gonna get a fever too..
its all bcoz of Edwina n da other boys.. they were splashin water at us while pretendin to "teach" us e rite stroke..
bloody hell i was soakin wet!
and of coz.. e Ah-mu & aDa joke..
gosh i was so freakin embarassed! Edwina n da girls were teasin me to e core that e other boys who werent aware of e joke got e air of it..
did i mentioned my coach also know abt it?!!
arrggghhh!!!
wen i made a noise or wat, they juz say e name Ah mu n i will keep quiet..i dunno how to react! it was arrgghhh!
e worst one was wen i was sittin down w da girls @ da shore while watchin e boys row wen Edwina shouted out n loud "eh Ada! u nvr take a gd look at Ah Mu rite? now look at him lah..look at him!!"
it was loud..reli reli loud n all e guys includin my coach were lookin at me laughin n sayin e same thing!
even my girls didnt spare me, they were askin me to look at him too! i juz wish im dead tat time..
but it was all pure fun..
im glad im a part of da dragonboat team.. Woooooooo Sa!!!~
here r sum pics taken durin my trainin..a first i might say ;)
enjoy seein da actions!
~~a candid shot of me .. e usual look i have durin trainin day..~~
~~me n my girls b4 startin our trainin..can u see our faces filled w enthusiasm? heh~~
~~waitin to start rowin..~~
~~Row row row ur boat ... heheheh~~
~~Us soaked up all thanks to da lovely Edwina kor kor :D~~
~~Me gettin cosy w one of da girl, Hashida..sweet,chatty girl~~
~~Thanks fer da wonderful time! luv u girls~~
till then,
she's nursin an injured hand :(
Dear Blog,
my Baby juz called.. hes @ GH now goin to have a minor surgery..
almost screamed at him fer not tellin me! then he said it was a last min thing.. he forgot tat he got an appt. n bla bla bla
luckily he dun have to b hospitalised or wat
well darls, take gd care of urself ya?
n thanks fer callin rite b4 u goin fer ur surgery.. it means alot :)
im goin to have my shower n stuff..
meetin my girls to go n visit Yan @ Changi Hospital..
Edwina n da boyz might b taggin along too..heh~
juz pray tat Ah Mu wont b there
it seems tat every1 knows abt e "compliment" incident..n now they tryin to matchmake us! sheesh!
ah nuff abt tat..
till then,
she's juz here~
Dear Blog,
i dunno wat to type..i dun even know where to start..
my brain is like goin on like a mad rush..i felt as if im walkin in a maze, circlin at e same spot again n again..
i didnt bring my hp juz now.. wen i went hm, e first thing i did was to check my hp hopin there would b lotsa missed kols n msgs.. got a few but none from him..
was feelin blue n stuff wen he kol me an hr later..
e first thing he asked "Baby..where have u been?" i was smilin to myself wen i heard that..
then came a shocker..one hell of a shocker..
he started his convo : "B..i wan to tell u sumthin n i hope u wont b shock by it.."
we had a serious major convo that i dare to say either make us or break us..
i could have gone forever askin him y tis n y tat but it daunt on me tat..tis is not abt me..tis is abt him..
e pressure,e stress n e probs hes facin..
i wish im there, im there w him now..
all i could do is to juz b at e receivin end listenin to him..wish i could do more than tat though..
at e same time..im scared, scared to think wats gonna happen next..
he seems to keep so many things from me..
so many secrets..
he said e reason was hes scared im gonna leave ..
i dunno bloggie..
then again i felt flattered..flattered tat hes openin up to me now..
it shows alot..
its gettin clearer now..
i finally found e ans to most of my questions.. :)
im quite suprised w myself at how well i handled all tis..
i was very calm n composed abt e whole thing.. all i can say is, every1 make mistake but tat doesnt mean he got to b condemned his whole life n seriously..i dun see it as his mistake.. he did his part.. he did..
guess i reli mellow down n start to see n embrace e serious part of life :)
Bi,
i know ur not gonna read tis but watever it is..
im here..
im here fer u..
always~
till then,
she's prayin hard fer him~
Dear Blog,
Its 1255am now..was supposed to sleep an hr back but Sanjay called so we tok..
hes been askin me out fer wks..but i dunno..
its kinda weird tat im feelin guilty everytime sum1 asks me out coz i kinda feel tat im cheatin on "him"
i know its uncalled fer since he nvr ask me out (its been 51 days already) ..
been tryin to brush off tat feelin.. oh wells
anyway, trainin is gettin tougher!
cant u blieve tat i ran 4.8km juz now?! plus e usual situps,pushups ..
Yanti was bein hospitalised, all of us freaked out juz now wen she suddenly unable to breathe! it was reli reli scary!!
get well soon k hun?
we finished trainin ard 9pm.. e rest of da gerls went home n left me w Yatz..
we had our shower n stuff n saw da boys on da way out so me,Yatz,Edwin,Wen Hao,Orlando,Brian went home together
it was fun gettin to know each other all a lil better..
went to McDonald coz we were so famished n they actually waited fer us.. how sweet! heh
then got one mat wans to know me.. i was like wat e heck? seriously im suprised! im like w/o makeup.. (yes! nothin on me face at all wenever i go fer trainin) n was very slacko macko..
gave him my no w one wrong digit! lolx! im soo mean :D
but dude, whoever u are..thanks ya fer askin fer my no.. at least i know i still look "ok" w no makeup on! wahahahah
so yea, e boys saw tat n started to tease me abt it n they told me sumthin..
sumthin very shockin..
apparently one of our team mate told Edwin tat im petite n very pretty..so now they all tease me w tat guy
even Yatz is joinin e fun! grrr..
i kept tellin Edwin tat its was juz a compliment n nothin more but he wont hear any single word of it..gosh!
n Wen hao actually asked if e bugger asks fer my no, would i give it to him.. wat a q! geez..
kk nuff abt tat.. e tot of it juz makin me...
oh yea forgot to mention..
i saw my ex Hyder @ da interchange! we took e same bus but he pretend not to see me! lolx~
he look uglier than ever n sumhow i feel tis sense of achievement knowin tat it was not my loss at all not bein w him anymore.. ;)
*starts singin i feel gd..na na na na na..i feel so good now..~*
i wonder y i dated him in e first plc? heh~
oh well.. wat past is past..no use dwellin on it rite? :D
im gonna train again tomorrow on my own.. figured tat i reli need to build up my stamina fer da upcomin sea trainin..
seriously, its reli suprisin seein me bein able to do all tis..
i have always see myself as tis super gentle like tofu gerl who cant do all tis shitza..
i figured tat if u put ur mind n soul into it, everythin is indeed possible n within ur grasp.. :)
my eyes r gettin heavy..prolly i shld get sum sleep..~
oh yea,
got few shout out to my darlin Sizzies (Sabbie,Has n Ida), my Jon n Fyi n also...Iman..
w da msg : i miss you dearly.. each n every one of u *hugs*
till then,
she's hepi~
Dear Blog,
gOsh! my laptop got infected by e newest virus..bloody hell! luckily i got my fren, Naz to fix it up fer me :D
thanks ya darls fer comin all e way to my plc n spent 2 hrs to reformat n even install few prog fer me.. reli appreciate it
anyway..haven update since fri rite so here it goes!
Fri :~
had my trainin..n boy it was..TOUGH!! did 2.4km run,5 sets of pushups,situps,pullups,slidin n yada yada yada..
as usual my whoooole body is achin but still survivin..
found out from Raymond, my coach tat we will b goin down to Kallang every Fri startin from next wk! yippee!!
finally our sea trainin..cant wait..
gettin closer to my girls..we always had fun together.. new frenships formed :)
Sat :~
Went fer lunch w parents..mom cravin fer laksa.. did sum shoppin n met Rimmie ard 7plus after his soccer trainin..
dun consider it as a date.. we juz hung out, had ice cream n late dinner together n he sent me home..
nice guy..can sense tat he likes me but.. u know my heart belongs to sum1..
Sun :~
Went to my grandma plc, asked aunt to gave me a full body massage n boy it felt sooo gd! my body still achin but its not tat bad.. got trainin tomorrow.. oh wells..
other tat tat..
i had an interestin convo w sizzy sabbie juz now.. am glad everythin is goin well smoothly fer her..
siz, make sure im e first person u tell e "gd" news ya? ;)
as fer my darlin Haritz..
its been up n down n up n down n up n down n up n down.. its nvr endin..
i dunno where tis "frenship" leadin to,
im dyin to find out but then doubt tis is e rite time..
basically it juz me n my issues,
battlin w endless of questions tat i ask myself time n again
but yet unable to pluck up enuff courage to find out e truth..
i often find myself feelin so insecure everytime he tells me abt a gerl or if i were to read any comments given to him by other gerls..
i juz cant help it..
despite him tellin me im his only baby.. :s
u got wat im tryin to say?
i miss him..
better give him a quick kol..
till then,
she's .... ~